A Discourse on the Special Relativity of Poultry and Loving Someone

I have come to the unmistakable conclusion that dating is a cosmic collection of mishaps, blunders, near misses, and things most likely left to bad punch lines. Then you find the one (if you are lucky) that you decide to spend the rest of your life with. Or at least the months leading up to football season. Anyway, we expect that things kind of fit there or you learn to embrace and expect each other's idiosyncrasies and try to pass them off as "charming."

I'm here to say that being with another human being is always is a complete wake up call. Nope- don't get too comfortable or assume that you want then as your partner is the Charades World Cup. Usually, I am completely surprised at my mate- no less than if he constructed a computer entirely out of Jell-O and tinker toys or, god forbid, came out as a Canadian.

So we were snacking in the car the other day. Being big fans of Fox's series, 24, imagine our excitement when we saw a guy that looked just like Jack Bauer next to us, talking on his cell phone like Jack, by a car, like Jack's… Yeah, I know. You get it.

So I realize that lo and behold, as my mate and I are named Yousef and Kate (I'm the Kate- come on! Keep up!)

Then, the the Jack-a-like left. Naturally, I suggested that we squeal out onto small town main street and continue in hot pursuit humming the 24 theme song.

Yousef, meanwhile, asked for a pen to draw a little computing curves calculus something or another that I should have paid attention to the first time in school. When I suggested pursuit, he said "just a sec" as he's "up for calc" and continued to assure me "Come on, it will be kinda fun." The diagrams sprawled over gum wrappers, then a rouge grocery bag. I ran out of snacks and started chewing the upholstery.

So, as you could guess, I've been drinking to forget. So far, so good. That is, until I strolled into my office this morning….

Instantly I am assaulted with the equivalent of crop rings on my dry erase board. Over my prelim storyboard for the latest Wedging, Yousef has proved special relativity when accelerating our oldest cockatoo, Flax Man, to the speed of light.

Swell. Wonder which anniversary is poultry? Ain't love grand?